Expressing Sexuality: 3 Tips For You Both to #ComeTogether
Sexuality 101: How do you know if you’ve reached the Big O?
- You might feel a release of tension kind of like a sneeze but better.
- You might feel a rush of feel-good emotions
- You might feel a tingling sensation and muscle contractions.
- You fit on a scale of feeling good to toe-curlingly great.
Sounds great, right? Well, according to a recent study done by Durex, 27% of Filipinas have faked an orgasm with a partner. In some cases, 22% of Filipino women do not orgasm when they have sex. So, while men come down from their high, women are left unsatisfied or even ashamed for not reaching their climax. Most partners do not get to talk about this orgasm gap, but it’s real. It’s time for us to overcome that talk of shame and find ways to close the pleasure gap. In this day and age, we also need to fight for equality in the bedroom.
Check out some of the reasons why some women have difficulty achieving their orgasm and what we can do about it.
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Reason 1: Sex and female sexuality are still taboo especially among Asian countries.
Some people can’t still fathom that women are sexual creatures – people who have desires and who wish to be intimate. Women experience double standards against men who are clapped on the back when they engage in casual sex, while women are shunned or called inappropriate names. With this kind of culture, women would overthink and feel shame when exploring their bodies. Even feel like they are disappointing their partners for not knowing enough. Ironic, isn’t it?
Same sex couples experience an even greater battlefield. Expressing their sexuality beyond the bounds of gender norms can also affect their ability to openly communicate about their needs and desires.
What can we do? With a problem as big as this, we start within our small circles, particularly with our partners. It’s important to have a chat with your partner and let them know of your struggles. It may get uncomfortable at first but when you get into it, you might just feel closer to your partner. Being open to learning what each other likes and dislikes only brings you closer together. Include protection into the equation and that sounds just about a good tandem for better sex.
Reason 2: There is a lack of sexual stimulation.
To some men, female anatomy could be a doozy. They may be surprised as to how many erogenous zones women have besides their genitals. These hot spots can help women reach the finish line (sometimes even without sexual intercourse).
Going straight to penetrative sex could be uncomfortable for either one or the two of you. Sexual build up is important to prepare your bodies for the deed.
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What can we do? Foreplay is key! Women naturally create lubricant to help make sex easier, but some may experience vaginal dryness which is completely normal too. Just add lube that suits your needs and condoms to make the experience better for the both of you. Try Durex Play Feel Lube, a water-based lube that easily washes off!
Besides physical preparation, foreplay also sets the mood which can bring a change to how comfortable you are mentally. You don’t want to be distracted during sex or else you might not be able to come entirely.
Reason 3: Men may be too excited and rush through sex.
When men reach the finish line, it might mean the end of sex which leaves the woman hanging. Some women might need a while to reach their climax, so it takes time.
What can we do? There are many ways to make sure both of you #ComeTogether. If it takes time, maybe it would be best to try different positions. You can also try to introduce toys into your bed and try condoms such as Durex Performa Condom which has 5% benzocaine to help him last longer.
There are plenty of possible reasons as to why some women have a hard time finishing. Sometimes, men come first (literally) and leave women lagging behind in second place. We believe that talking to your partner about your preferences in bed can go a long way in making sure you come together. Besides having an open communicative relationship, we suggest to explore each other’s bodies by using different kinds of condoms, lube, and maybe toys (if you’re into that) for foreplay and during sex! There’s no right and wrong as long as you are both having a safe and fun time.
When it comes to sex, it’s always better when you come together. It elevates the experience and makes the next time something to look forward to. The pleasure gap is real and it’s time to bridge that. Start by having a conversation with your partner tonight.
Buy your own Durex loot at our Shopee and Lazada stores.
References:
- Valuation of Women’s Virginity in the Philippines, available at http://e-asianwomen.org/_common/do.php?a=full&bidx=1009&aidx=13304. Accessed on 10 December 2022.
- What Can Cause Orgasm Problems in Women, available at https://www.nhs.uk/common-health-questions/sexual-health/what-can-cause-orgasm-problems-in-women/. Accessed on 10 December 2022.